I'll Be Seeing You
by gentlewinnix
Summary: Nix returns stateside on his birthday, and it seems there's nothing to celebrate. But Dick never forgets his birthday. Winnix.


**Author's Note: **Happy 100th birthday to Lewis Nixon! Title is from the song "I'll Be Seeing You." The version I know is by Martha Wainwright.

Tags include: Canon Era, Post-War, Birthday Presents, Angst with a Happy Ending.

* * *

September 30, 1945  
New York City, New York

Nix wakes up cold, sore, tired, and stone cold sober. He climbs out of the bed- strange and far too-comfortable- and tugs a robe around his shoulders. An autumn cold front had set in overnight after one last wave of summer heat. He'd come in on a ship from France the day before; it'd been sweltering, and the ship had been cramped and uncomfortable the whole trip back. Nix had only just managed to catch up on some much-needed sleep.

But already he has things to do, and he forces himself to get going. Nix showers quickly, military efficiency still lingering in his day-to-day motions, and dresses in a heavy wool suit. It feels loose and strange on his limbs after five years of army uniforms, but he's glad for the warmth. He was on the line in Bastogne with everybody else- he's sure all of them share a new, profound dislike for the cold season. Nix puts on an overcoat and scarf, takes up his suitcase, and checks out of the hotel.

As the train takes him back to New Brunswick, Nix looks out the window and thinks about Dick, his best friend and lover. He'd followed Dick into the paratroopers, and while Nix had had his ups and down like anyone else, Dick was always there to support him.

But now there is an ocean between Nix and Dick, and the date of Dick's homecoming is still uncertain. Dick had gotten tired of Nix's drinking and bad moods and they had begun to drift apart briefly in Germany. But the Austrian sun and peacetime had cleared the air between them, for a while.

Nix isn't sure things will be the same when Dick comes back stateside.

Everything is different now, and Nix doesn't know where he belongs anymore. Kathy really had taken everything- even the house- and the suit Nix is wearing is new, bought from the first outfitter he'd seen getting off the ship. If Nix is being honest with himself, he doesn't want to be home. Without a house, a wife or kids, or Dick, Nix has only an empty bedroom in his father's house and a job he already knows he will hate. It seems inevitable that he will fade from Dick's memory, their friendship forgotten as better opportunities arise. Rationally, Nix knows Dick would never just forget about any of his men, that they _will _see each other again- the war is over, after all- but the fear lingers in his chest regardless of reason.

A stewardess comes through the car, and Nix orders a whiskey. He stares at the amber liquid, its surface rippling with the motion of the train, and sees his reflection; fragmented and incomplete.

* * *

The train pulls into New Brunswick an hour later. Nix hails a cab and directs the driver to his father's house. As the taxi drives away, Nix cranes his head back and takes in the sight of his childhood home; a three-story brick house on the Farrington Lake. The last time he'd looked at this building he'd sworn to himself that he would never come back.

Nix has broken a lot of promises, to himself and to others.

He takes a deep breath, steeling himself, and knocks on the door. One of the maids, a young girl he doesn't recognize, answers.

"Who are you?" she asks, looking him over.

"Lewis Nixon," he replies, looking over her shoulder and noticing that no, there are no family photographs on the walls anymore. "Back from Europe," he adds, and she steps back, letting him inside.

"Mr. Nixon isn't here now. He's at a social event," she says, and walks away.

Nix stands in the foyer of his childhood home, stripped of any evidence of his existence, and remembers that it's his birthday.

As Nix takes his things up to his room- nothing more than a guest bedroom, now- he thinks about the birthdays he'd shared with Dick. There had only been three of them; in Toccoa and Aldbourne, and then in Holland. He wouldn't have remembered the significance of any of those days, between Sobel and training and the war, if not for the fact that Dick had.

Dick always managed to carve at least a few minutes out of his schedule to give Nix a hug and a gift of some kind- practical things, or a chocolate bar he'd saved from his own rations. (Though of course, he'd denied that particular accusation.) It was more meaningful than anything his family had ever done for him, though he never said as much. Dick was already angry enough at Lew's family from the few things he'd let slip about his life before the Airborne. They have an unspoken agreement to not talk about it.

Nix hangs up his uniform in the closet, pausing as his eyes catch on the jump wings, their gleam dulled in the dark of the closet. There are only two bronze stars set on them - a three-star set had never made it to him, and he quietly thinks he doesn't deserve to wear them anyway. His stomach twists as he remembers Operation Varsity. He should have died that day, with the other paratroopers on that plane- but for some reason fate had chosen for him to live.

Nix closes the closet door, knowing that that chapter of his life is over now.

* * *

He wakes sometime later in the day to a knock on the door. Nix sits up, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes, and says, "Come in."

The maid from before opens the door, a small package in her hands. "Delivery for you, Mr. Nixon." She steps inside, giving the box to him. Surprised, Nix turns it over in his hands, looking at the postmarks. It's come from France, and Nix recognizes Dick's handwriting on the address label. If Dick had known it would arrive on Nix's birthday, he isn't sure.

The maid turns to leave, closing the door behind her, and Nix turns his attention back to the box. He finds a letter opener in the desk cabinet, and opens it, finding a small leather box and a handwritten note. He picks up the note, his heart jolting at Dick's familiar scrawl.

_Lew, _

_These just came for you. You've earned them. _

_Happy birthday. _

_-Dick _

Nix opens the box. Pinned onto a velvet cushion is a set of two jump wings, each with three bronze stars set on their surface. For a moment he simply looks at them, gleaming and unblemished. Nix almost wants to send these wings back to Dick, because if anyone in the 101st deserves three stars, it's him. But he thinks about what this means: that Dick loves Lew, and honestly believes he is a good man, that he has earned the respect and adoration of a man like Dick Winters, and Nix feels a smile crawl across his face.

Nix goes to the closet, opening the door and taking out his uniform. He replaces the jump wings, tucking the old pair into the box, and leaves the door open.


End file.
